Nothing like being able to father kids you'll barely see through kindergarten

Elton John, seeking to join the celebrity "buy a baby from an obscure land" contest, went for a kid from Ukraine. The Ukraine government said no, he's too old and too gay. Elton, that is.

John is 62; his partner, David Furnish, is 46.

Tell it to the last child of Saul Bellow, who fathered a child at 84 and died at 89, and whose son Adam wrote:

I am my father's second son; my parents divorced when I was 2 and I never lived with him again. He had three sons with his first three wives and, much later, a daughter with his fifth. Four only children, connected by a slender thread: a fond but highly attenuated bond with a frequently distracted, often absent and much older father.

Or tell it to the children of Tony Randall, the actor, who fathered two children at 77 and 78, and died at 84.