Sunday, March 17, 2013

A new, family-friendly policy

 

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The decision of Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) to support same-sex marriage after learning that his son was gay has inspired hundreds of other Republican lawmakers to stop speaking to their children immediately, G.O.P. leaders confirmed today.

“I have gathered my caucus and told them, if your kids are going to tell you something that’s going to cost you the next election, it’s better to nip that situation in the bud,” said House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio). “Just stop talking to them altogether, for heaven’s sakes.”

...Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) agreed with his fellow G.O.P. leaders’ words of caution, adding, “Fortunately, none of my children want to talk to me.”

Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/03/portman-inspires-other-republicans-to-stop-speaking-to-their-children.html#ixzz2Np2gme7U

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