WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The
decision of Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) to support same-sex marriage
after learning that his son was gay has inspired hundreds of other
Republican lawmakers to stop speaking to their children immediately,
G.O.P. leaders confirmed today.
“I have gathered my caucus and told them, if your kids are going to
tell you something that’s going to cost you the next election, it’s
better to nip that situation in the bud,” said House Speaker John
Boehner (R-Ohio). “Just stop talking to them altogether, for heaven’s
sakes.”
...Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) agreed with his fellow G.O.P. leaders’ words of caution, adding, “Fortunately, none of my children want to talk to me.”
Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/03/portman-inspires-other-republicans-to-stop-speaking-to-their-children.html#ixzz2Np2gme7U
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