Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Final Season

After 76 years on the air, NBC announcer Don Pardo has died.  He was 96 and was working at SNL to the end, forty years after its premiere.

Monday, August 18, 2014

It's the glasses: 2

Texas governor Rick Perry went on the Sean Hannity show to denounce his indictment for political corruption while, outside, his lawyers explained how they aren't going to try his case in the press.

Friday, August 15, 2014

It's the glasses

Texas governor Rick Perry, the GOP's 2016 Herman Cain, has announced that in his next bid for a tax-supported salary, he will be prepared, "mentally and intellectually. "

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Oh, the places you'll go

What a burden it must be to be the she-Clinton.

First, there's the Big Dog to deal with. Where is he? Who's he doing on Ron Burkle's jet?

Then there's the certitude that the she- Clinton is owed the presidency.

If nothing else, she's earned her turn.

For a meritocrat, that is a big deal.

You do your time. You stack your offices. If being a senator won't get you the golden ticket, you take the gig Obama offers you. You spend four years on an airplane- free, at last from Sinbad and the Balkans- and then you calculate how long till you can turn on your benefactor.

The one I feel for- aside from the long-suffering American public- is her daughter. It must be tough having a pollster tell you Mom needs to warm up:  a baby scores well.

A tough week for legends

When I met Lauren Bacall in 1980 I'd only seen here in television and in the star-studded Murder on the Orient Express.

I stopped in at Blackwell's, the Oxford bookseller, one day looking for something else.  They didn't do booksignings much, but there was a sign and a line and there she was.

Lauren Bacall radiated the star power of a Mexican border radio station.

She caught my eye and boy howdy I was in line with a copy of her book, Me.

I don't remember what we talked about when I reached her in line. I just remember thinking if she asked me to marry her on the spot, I'd have said yes on the spot.

And that's how I met one of the great Hollywood legends, who has died at the age of 89.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

She's smart. She's young. She's white.

Politico has an interesting article up about the Republican obsession with appearing to offer something new while doing nothing of the sort.

Elise Stefanek, 30, went to work in the Bush White House out of college. She rose fast.

The end of the Bush Restoration pending, Stefanek looked for a new patron.

And that's where 21st Congressional District voters have cause to question her judgement as she seeks to be a New York congresscritter.

She went to work for Tim Pawlenty.

That was over in a minute. Elise turned up as a coauthor of the GOP platform,which puts the lie to claims she is anything but a good little Movement conservative.

Fresh from making America safe from abortion, homos and gun haters, she moved on to be Mitt Romney's policy director.

The Age of the 47 Percenters was Pawlenty-brief.

What does a young Republican gal with a Rolodex on steroids do next (besides questioning how she was wrong so much and so fast.

Nahhh.

Elise moved to her family's upstate New York vacation house and started running for Congress while affecting an interest in the family plywood factory.

And now Karl Rove's writing her big checks.

She's new and fresh. And she'll know her place on day one.

This week in the sanctity of marriage

Charles Manson, who is about to turn 80, and who has spent half his life in prison for murdering people right and left, is about to marry a 25 year-old woman attracted to his philosophy of helping the earth by planting trees.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Remembering Miss O'Connor

Waldo is on holiday, contemplating a mint julep, the chill rising off the glass, and trying to adapt to a smart phone that mainly seems intent on making Waldo feel Not Smart. He feels like Stephen Hawking tapping out the unified theory of the universe.

Anyway, hie yourselves over to The Cotton Boll Conspiracy and read-well, everything- but, for Waldo's money-the excellent appreciation of Flannery O'Connor there.

Her collected letters, The Habit of Being, are a worthy companion to her literary works. When she and her mother went to Lourdes seeking a cure for her lupus, she wrote a friend that her policy was to stick to what she knew at home:"When in Rome, " she wrote, "do as you done in Milledgeville."

Friday, July 25, 2014

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"*



At last, someone's getting back at the French: 
Colin Furze, a plumber and inventor from Stamford, Lincolnshire, has begun building the biggest fart machine ever, which he plans to place on top of the cliffs of Dover and aim across the Channel towards France. His hope is that the French, 21 miles away, will hear the blast. 
The machine, which Furze will house in a pair of specially constructed buttocks, is a giant pulse valveless jet engine – as used in Nazi V-1 bombs during the Second World War – that creates a plume of fire to go along with its deafening roar. Furze hopes to mount the contraption on the cliffs of Dover on July 24, between 6 and 7pm.
Of course, this begs the question of who keeps records on the escalation in size of fart machines through history. 

____________________
*Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

They have so much time on their hands in between elections, the poor dears

A number of edits, apparently made in jest, have been picked up by the automatic twitter bot Congress Edits, which monitors Wikipedia for changes to the site made by accounts with IP addresses coming from inside the US legislature.
For instance, one such edit changed the Wikipedia page for Reptilians, the lizard people who are the subject of numerous conspiracy theories which say that they control everything from the British monarchy to the American government.
The wag added the line "these allegations are completely unsubstantiated and have no basis in reality," which was duly tweeted out by the account.
Other edits accused the Cuban government of faking the moon landings, and named the former defence secretary Donald Rumsfeld as an alien lizard.
It seems that those edits were the final straw for Wikipedia's administrators, who implemented a 10-day ban on any changes coming from one particular IP address within the US Congress, "due to disruptive editing originating from that address".


Apparently not true.


wtf, funny, funny pictures, jesus, dinosaur, 10 Epic Portraits of Jesus and Dinosaurs
Apparently true.

-but they picked the wrong persecuted baker

Two years ago, the now-defunct SC blog The Garnet Spy did an ideological happy dance over the intellectual prowess of right-winginess:
CPAC also emphasizes how striking it is that there are so  many conservative political rock stars.  Liberals don’t have philosophical rock stars; they have to go to Hollywood to get people who pretend for a living to shill for them. Actors and actresses – who depend on scriptwriters to tell them what to say and directors to tell them how to say it – come out in masses to support President Teleprompter. 
          Where are the Left’s versions of Herman Cain, Ann Coulter, Mike Huckabee, Andrew Breitbart, Carly Fiorina, Sarah Palin, Paul Ryan, Marco Rubio, Laura Ingraham, Allen West, Connie Mack and Oliver North? 
          Who do the Left have?  John Kerry? Nancy Pelosi?  Harry Reid? Al Sharpton? Rachel Maddow? Keith Olbermann          There are rock stars and then there are garage band losers.
Two years on, another conclave- Tony Perkins Values Voters Summit (sounds like a "shop against the clock grocery store challenge, doesn't it?)- has nuveiled its rock star lineup:


VS2014  SPEAKERS (CONFIRMED* AND INVITED)

Attorney General Greg Abbott
(R-Texas)
Rep. Michele Bachmann
U.S. House (R-Minn.)
Gary Bauer
President, American Values
Glenn Beck
Radio & TV Host
Jason & David Benham
Founders, Benham Companies
Dr. Bill Bennett
Best-selling Author and Host, "Morning in America"
Ryan Bomberger
Co-founder of The Radiance Foundation
Gen. William Boykin
(U.S. Army-Ret.), Former Commander, Delta Force
David Brat
Economist
Rep. Jim Bridenstine
U.S. House (R-Okla)
Gov. Sam Brownback
(R-KA)
Gov. Phil Bryant
(R-MS)
Roma Downey & Mark Burnett
Film Directors
Kirk Cameron
Actor and Producer,Monumental
Dr. Ben Carson
Dir. of Pediatric Neurosurgery, Johns Hopkins Hospital
Sen. Ted Cruz
(R-Texas)
Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli
(R-VA)
Dr. James Dobson
Author, Founder, Focus on the Family
Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar
TLC's 19 Kids & Counting
Erick Erickson
Editor, RedState
The Green Family
Founder, Hobby Lobby
Sean Hannity
Host, "The Sean Hannity Show"
Gov. Mike Huckabee
Host, "Huckabee"
Brit Hume
Syndicated Columnist
Laura Ingraham
Syndicated Columnist
Bishop E.W. Jackson
Founder & President, S.T.A.N.D.
Craig James
Assistant to the President, FRC
Gov. Bobby Jindal
(R-LA)
Aaron & Melissa Klein
Owners, Sweet Cakes
Mark Levin
Host, The Mark Levin Show"
Rush Limbaugh
Radio Host, The Rush Limbaugh Show
Michelle Malkin
Syndicated Columnist
Rep. Mark Meadows
(R-NC)
Benjamin Netanyahu
Prime Minister of Israel
Lt. Col. Oliver North
Syndicated Columnist
Gov. Sarah Palin
Former Governor of Alaska
Star Parker
Author and President of CURE
Sen. Rand Paul
(R-KY)
Tony Perkins
President, Family Research Council and FRC Action
Gov. Rick Perry
(R-TX)
Sandy Rios
Host, Sandy Rios in the Morning on AFR Talk
Sen. Marco Rubio
(R-FL)
Rick Santorum
Founder, Patriot Voices
Ben Sasse
President, Midland University
Sen. Tim Scott
(R-SC)
Kelly Shackelford
President, Liberty Institute
Gary Sinese
Actor, Director
Todd Starnes
FOX News
Mat Staver
Chairman, Liberty Counsel