It really is true- gays cause all our problems

We're the first to eat crow (over at WhackyNation, they even have a recipe) when we're wrong, and today we have to admit: gay people really are the root of all problems.

We already know, from Rev. Pat Robertson, God's weatherman, that they cause all kinds of meteorological mayhem. An Israeli member of parliament has proven that gays cause earthquakes. The Anglican bishop of Carlisle has proved gays cause massing flooding. A policy director of the Family Research Council believes gays are an export market waiting to be exploited:

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Senator John McCain's spiritual guide, Rev. John Hagee, has proved Hurricane Katrina was caused by gays. Robertson and the late Rev. Jerry Falwell proved that gay people helped cause the 9/11 attacks:


Oklahoma state representative Sally Kerns recently showed how gays are an even greater threat to America's future than Muslim terrorism. Gays want to destroy marriage, too.

The Pentagon is afraid of letting the partners of gay and lesbian members of Congress go on trips with them. The House of Representatives doesn't recognize legal marriage between a member and another person of the same sex. The Department of State is afraid to give same-sex partners of diplomats the free medical care,special security training, medical evacuation and hardship post housing allowances they give all their other employees.

Which brings us to the subprime mortgage crisis. It has brought the US financial system to its knees and helped precipitate a recession. It's effects are global. UBS, the giant Swiss investment bank, has just announced its second quarterly write off- it's up to $37b total.

Gays caused it, too.

Alphonso Jackson, President's Bush's housing secretary, resigned the other day. Were it not that occupants of that job seem to arrive as no one and leave no better off, we'd have all heard his siren call last summer, when the mortgage loan crisis was just a little wave headed toward shore:

"Jackson also came under fire for his approach to the subprime mortgage crisis, which erupted last year. Many policymakers underlined the disproportionate impact of the high-risk, high-cost home loans on minorities and the elderly. But Jackson insisted that many borrowers were not unsophisticated, low-income people but "yuppies, buppies and guppies" — educated, young, black and gay upwardly mobile achievers—with expensive cars who bought $400,000 homes with little or no money down."

So now you know.

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*Family Research Council later issued a non-apology apology for Sprigg's comments.