Straight men worry about the oddest things

South Carolina blogdom continues to exhibit a curious fascination with whether actor Jake Gyllenhaal is gay. Today's FITSNews has a big photo from of Gyllenhall, working on a movie in Columbia, and pronounces: "Oh, and despite persistent rumors concerning his sexual orientation, FITSNews confirmed today that actor Jake Gyllenhaal in fact walks like a straight man.

“That is not a gay gait,” said Dr. Wak Dis Way, a prominent human locomotion expert at the University of South Carolina."

May 5 it was this: "Oscar winner Reese Witherspoon and her boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal were spotted making out just outside of the S.C. Governor’s Office this afternoon, which is surprising because the last time we checked Witherspoon was a female."

A month back, The Other Brooks Brothers really got agitated. Reporting that Gyllenhaal's lawyer leaned on another blog to pull down an entry on where the actor was staying in Columbia, TOBB came up with this, complete with a pasted-in poster from Brokeback Mountain for the reading-challenged:

"Was DICK Thompson afraid that somebody would go Brokeback on his client?

"Wait a minute. Is anyone else sensing a pattern? First there was Brokeback Mountain. Now there’s Nailed. Throw in an attorney named DICK Thompson. Hmmm.

"Never mind."

We won't. Ya'll got plenty on yours, though.