Hip, hip, old chap, simply must toodle off to report my latest Palmetto Scoop

FITSNews has a flash of insight:

We’ve already weighed in with our thoughts on the whole “So Gay” flap, but needless to say South Carolina has screwed the pooch in every way imaginable on this one. Gay tourists spend upwards of $700 million in America, and hanging out a “not welcome” sign to that kind of revenue is just retarded - no matter what you think of homos.

Mr. South Carolina Tourism

But- maybe because they're political pals, FITSNews dropped the ball when it comes to whose doorstep to lay the sorry, costly fuss over a $4900 ad buy at: The Palmetto Scoop's Adam Fogle. Once he set his non-scoop out for his Republican masters to get all spasmodic in public about, the fix was in. A tourism department employee was forced out, and everybody else got all high and mighty about it before you could say "news cycle." No rules or laws were broken; it's just a case of some anonymous tipper who's afraid to gay-bash under his/her own name passed it on to Palmetto Scoop.

He's proud of himself, too:

During The Palmetto Scoop’s 15 month history, we have developed a knack for breaking major news stories that the mainstream media might miss or ignore. Take for instance the recent “So Gay” story — love it or hate it — that we broke which quickly became international news...

...The “So Gay” story was just the tip of the iceberg. There are countless oversights, inaccuracies and inadequacies within South Carolina’s bureaucracy that go unreported and we the people need to know about it.

So please, keep using the Tip Line.

Apparently the Tip Line's a little slow today, but we see Fogle learned a lot from his brief, recent, internationally-covered interaction with the UK, complete with pretentious spellings:

THOSE BARMY BRITS SURE KNOW HOW TO ADD A WEE BIT OF DRY HUMOUR TO ANYTHING

The London Times’ Gerard Baker has adapted a gospel from the Bible to adequately summarize Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama’s recent trip through Europe and the Middle East. And the result is incredible:

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness. [...]

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world. [...]

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”

This is only a snippet of the piece. Read it in its entirety here or watch the above video of Baker reading it on FOX News.

In case you don’t understand dry British wit, allow me to translate: Obama has managed to market himself as the chosen one — a new Messiah. And his supporters are buying every bit of it. His recent world tour exemplifies this. So, in many ways, the Obama campaign is almost like a cult.

Of course, in the homes of "every day Joes like us — hard working, tax paying citizens who care about making South Carolina a better place," each with a set of P.G. Wodehouse by the hearth, the talk is of little else.

So explain this, Oh Cultural Ambassador: