The anxieties of straight South Carolina conservative bloggers

While they brag about who's ahead in the readership sweeps, Anaconda and Pudge McScoop ("I'm not gay, sister") share another common obsession: homosexuality. McScoop, his prepubescent female Olympic gymnast blowup doll imaginings on hold till 2012 (Go look it up yourself, I have some standards), scans the coastline for foreign gay tourists and Columbia queers cutting into the budget for police to patrol his increasingly- threatened straight neighorhood.



For "deeba, deeba, deeba, duh that's all Folks", it's the constant fear that someone will stencil him like a rear-view mirror, warning all that objects may be smaller than they appear.



For someone who's laid everything but the Atlantic Cable, this is certainly a recurring theme:

OLYMPIC CLOSING CEREMONIES HAVE SET THE BAR PRETTY HIGH

FITSNews - August 25, 2008 - For once, we’re actually thrilled that YouTube has been prohibited from posting a video of something … specifically, footage from all the gay ass singing and dancing the City of London “performed” last night as a way of formally inheriting the Olympic Games from the Long Duk Dongers in China.

We thought they just held the Olympics someplace else four years from now, end of story. But no, apparently there’s singing and dancing involved, and it London’s case - really gay singing and dancing.

And as if all the homos climbing double-decker buses and carting children and soccer balls around wasn’t enough, they rolled out Jimmy Page, who didn’t look a day over 400, people.

Seriously, this was the worst damn thing we’ve ever seen in our lives. All we can do is thank God our cable package allowed us to keep all the low-definition channels.