Sometimes you have to read between the lines, but there's always an uplifting, family values moral to Anaconda's posts about sex.
You might well think this one is just another of his fantasies about being seduced in high school by a blond bimbo teaching typing instead of confessing his ineffable teen loneliness to the imaginary BFF in his thumb, Mande Wilkes.
But no.
The moral of the story is that conservative Christianists can have their teen boys and eat them, too. Immorality is followed by punishment, then tabloid fame and marriage.
The template is former Washington State school teacher Mary Kay LeTourneau, daughter of the racist California congressman and Wallaceite presidential candidate John Schmitz.
Mrs. Fualaau, as she is known now, developed a mad pash for one of her students, a lumpy 12 year-old character called Vili. They did it, by his estimate, 300 to 400 times.
Well, when you're piston-boinking at that rate it's little surprise that at 13 Vili became a father. Mary Kay became a felon, but on a suspended sentence. Six months later, love conquered all and the cops found her in a car with the boy. Off to the hoosegow for seven and a half years went Mary Kay, but with company: in March 1998 she birthed Vili's second bambino.
Vili, his brood mare locked up for seven years, milked the reality shows for all he could, then sued his school district for not protecting him from his inamorata and the costs of raising his two bastards. The jury said, "No soap."
Mary Kay, divorced while in the slammer (husband and four kids relocated to Alaska), got sprung August 4, 2004. Three days later, Vili got a court order lifting the no contact ban between them. On May 20, 2005 they got married at a ceremony they sold exclusive rights for to Entertainment Tonight.
Since then, Fualaau, now 25, has been performing as DJ Headline, and worked out the "Hot for Teacher Night" idea with Mike Morris, owner of the bar that opened in 2005.They'd done the event twice before Saturday, which brought national attention after a local television crew noticed a poster advertising the event.For $7, people could buy 11-by-17-inch copies of that poster, signed by the former teacher. "Hot for teacher" T-shirts with an iron-on photo of the couple were sold for $20.Both had the message "Oh Happy Day," signed by Mary Fualaau.
Clifford DesPeaux / seattlepi.com
"It wouldn't be funny if it was a situation that was happening right now," Morris told KOMO/4 of the criminal case. "But it's a situation that happened a long time ago, she served her time, now they're married, they had kids together, and we're just having fun.
"
And that, friends and readers, is the genius of the Christianist right: they will always find a way to have it both ways when it comes to "opposite sex": just as they conjured up "secondary virginity" to marry off sluts in white gowns, a pedophile can do her time and marry her victim.
All that matters is that it's between a man and a woman.
Justice is served. Family values are served. But if gays marry, morals will collapse in America.
"All that matters is that it's between a man and a woman."
ReplyDeleteActually, I would argue that in situations such as these, all that matters is that it's between a man and an attractive woman.
If LeTourneau had been 5-foot-1, 250 pounds, with the face of a grizzly bear, she might still be in jail and certainly no one would be writing about her. For the the "hot for teacher" storyline to work, the protagonist has to be attractive.
However, your point is well made.
And the teacher has to be blonde. In the argot of SC's conservative blogdom, that makes her "smokin' hot!"
ReplyDelete