Somewhere, Morgan Freeman is laughing

Mande Wilkes- the imaginary friend who lives in Anaconda's thumb- was up early today conjuring another word salad about gays (or, as her "profile" has it, "Mande has earned our undying admiration not only for her wicked verbage, but because she spells her name minus the obligatory redneck.").

You know from the choice of photo- it's what perfect parents do, after all.

And Willie's lining up behind his mack daddy, Savonarola, complaining about getting "inordinate grief" from the gay community (read: a few posts by this blog) over his view that gays suffer a birth defect that straight people like him need to learn to condescend to accept as peculiar but ineradicable.That, he says, is "fairly progressive."

Before you get down with the patronizing below, here's a link to another story Willie will never cover.

Gay Penguins Make Perfect Parents

By Mande Wilkes • on June 4, 2009

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A pair of gay penguins have coupled to raise an orphaned baby penguin.

Vielpunkt and Z – two of six gay penguins in a German zoo – have “got straight down to raising” their adopted baby, according to a zoo statement.

“Since the chick arrived, they have been behaving just as you would expect a heterosexual couple to do. The two happy fathers spend their days attentively protecting, caring for and feeding their adopted offspring.”

It’s news that adds heft – and dimension – to my “homosexuality-as-birth-defect” theory. You know, the one over which Sic Willie keeps taking inordinate grief from the gay community.
Anyway, as state after state legalizes same-sex marriage, (New Hampshire just yesterday succumbed to the “homomentum”) these penguins are evidence that homosexuality is universal. And universality goes a long way toward dismantling the perceived “abomination” of the whole thing.

And that goes a long way toward achieving humanity – not “equality,” that most mendacious of all ideals.

It’s humanity that should be the gays’ goal: Humane regard for that which is – and those who are – inherently something other than equal.

An so what if gays aren’t quite equal … if homosexuality just doesn’t “add up.” Well, neither do 11 fingers or 9 toes.

So what.

Humans are, ironically, the last among the animal kingdom to get the memo about humanity. (Really ironic, since the whole reason it’s called “humanity” is because compassion and empathy – and the capacity to choose to act accordingly – are supposed to be uniquely human traits, the very qualities which differentiate us from mere animals.)

And on that front people suck.

And penguins rock.

They’re cute, they’re compassionate, and they mate for life … which is something else people, straight or otherwise, can’t seem to do.