Jake Knotts, suicide bomber

'Til noon or so today things looked much like Waldo predicted they would: the story of Kristin McGuire, the Christianist chair of the state board of education with a taste for home schooling and publishing Internet porn disappearing immediately; with the Mike Roger/Blog Active outing of Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer lingering a bit longer if only because SC Republicans are in an eat-your-own mood. The only Grown Up Media outlet to nab the tale was WIS-TV, which noted all of 17 blogs on the planet had then mentioned the story. Rogers was all over that, expressing gobsmackedness that an NBC affiliate had picked up one of his outing tales and using it to hit readers up for money.

Then, as the Charleston Citypaper put it:

Jake Knotts used to be a cop. For 29 years. Now, he's just a bull-necked buffoon who with one big ole blast of hot air just made the press coverage surrounding the Andre Bauer "outing" that much worse. And the funny thing is, it doesn't sound like that was Knotts' intention at all.

See, according to Palmetto Scoop, Knotts has sent a letter to his fellow members of the General Ass., proclaiming that he is "100% certain the rumor [that Andre is gay] is false" and Gov. Mark Sanford's folks are behind it.

In fact, he says that "with absolute certainty this attack was orchestrated on behalf of Mark Sanford, either directly or indirectly, and financially subsidized by him or one of his many 'front groups.'"

Knotts' proof that Mike Rogers of BlogActive is wrong about Andre and the governor's men are behind this "false rumor": Jake has known 'Dre since he was eight years old ... and he himself was once the victim of a similar "internet smear campaign" by Sanford's evil henchmen.

And that's it. No proof. No documentation. No taped recordings. No alcohol-fueled confessions. Just a stupid gut feeling. Way to go Walker, Texas Ranger.

Before the end of the letter calling for Sanford's removal, Knotts proclaims that the governor is a "danger to our state" and that if the lege doesn't get Mark out of office, "you and your family could be the next target."

And that means you Dorothy and your little dog too.

Way to look after a friend, Jake. You just couldn't let the "outing" story disappear. You had to go provide even more fodder for the blogosphere and cable news.

So next thing you know, by afternoon it's up on CNN's Politics Wire, Politico, TPM. The Garnet Spy, emerging from the crazy-uncle-attic, says it wasn't Sanford's men, it was Richard Quinn & associates, the Nazgul Political Consultancy Boy Fogle fronts for, and Anaconda, with all kinds of ties to Sanford, both ran the plumbers story (again) and then headfaked with praise for the Spy's ravings.

Mike Rogers, who, according to either version, got majorly punk'd, was on the phone to the Politico reporter on the beat, wanting to know why he- Rogers- wasn't "earning media." He says the reporter hung up on him.

Sleep well, everyone....