Gail Collins gossips...but who can resist them?

The Bristol-Levi debacle, which might be a minor sideshow for another politician, looms larger for a Mama Grizzly. Inquiring minds might want to know why she didn’t sniff trouble, rise up on her hind legs and eviscerate that hockey-playing thug the first time he followed her daughter through the kitchen door.

Since Sarah Palin’s own fame seems grounded on little but a look and an attitude, you can’t blame the kids for thinking the same kind of thing would work for them. Bristol tried to become a celebrity unwed mother, the anti-teen-pregnancy spokeswoman for a sexy clothing line. Levi tried to make a name for himself as the celebrity unwed mother’s ex-boyfriend. It might have worked out, except that as a spokeswoman, Bristol turned out to have nothing to say. And Levi, who kept showing up on TV promising to tell “my side of the story” was close to sub-verbal.

But the conviction that celebrity is transferable, like chicken pox, is still going strong in Wasilla. Levi has broken relations with his sister, Mercede, over her insistence on telling “my side of the story” on The Official Blog of Mercede Johnston. The home page includes a request for donations and a list of recent posts, including, “Time to set the record straight,” and “No I will NOT sit down and shut up!” Her grievances seem to center on Bristol, who she claims got pregnant on purpose and then tried to turn her brother against his family.

Tune in tomorrow when ... What next? My money’s on an all-Palin-Johnston edition of “Dancing With the Stars.”