"Would you like to supersize that?"

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The Discust might as well hang up the satire gig, now that they've been reduced to reporting things that really did happen:

REAL NEWS from WSPA:

Woman Arrested After Allegedly Stuffing Sandwich Down Pants
Deputies arrived on scene and say that Turner was heard screaming at the cashier to “give her the sandwich.” When the deputy noticed the grease stain on Turner’s pants, he asked Turner to remove the food, but Turner said she did not have anything in her pants.

Read the rest at WSPA.