I so wish I was an uncommitted voter and could attend the debate tonight. I'd ask, for millions who want to know as badly as I do, that Mr Trump get the suspense over with and flop out his own Big Willie so we can all see if- as his evangelical enablers say- Bill Clinton's is worse.
We deserve to know how schlongworthy a president he is (will it really make other nations fear us?), and what America can look forward to after the Tic-Tac breath, the pussy grab and the Rooms-To-Go shopping spree for a nice, American-made Broyhill bedroom suite on which to consummate his election.
Also: "Is it orange, too?"