Sunday, August 13, 2017

The family that tweets together, governs together ("What he said," says Mike Pence)

Life is just one damned thing after another: his penis-baiting of L'il Kim bumped the *resident up six points in a week, and the rollout of a little sideline banana republic action in Chavezland was sure to get him to 48%.

But then the White-Makes-Right crowd acted out again, and there was no way to put a jobs! jobs! jobs! spin on the revival of the American tiki torch industry.

So they needed a plan, and some A/B social media testing of messages.

The First Lady was first, in her second tweet of August (the first, on the 8th, was a numbed promo for opioid addiction):

43 minutes later came the first of what author J.K. Rowling called "New, from Hallmark: platitudes for the Nazi mob in YOUR life":


15 minutes after that, Mini-Me Mike got to borrow the tweeter:


That was an unwelcome distraction from where the media focus should be, so the *resident was back in 26 minutes for another swing- and a miss:


Then he had to go watch TV for 2 hours and 23 minutes, to see how he was doing:


While he was distracted, Magic Mike snuck out another suckup for the late afternoon Presidential Propaganda Folder:

But for the *resident, an hour is an unendurably long time not to see your tweets on the television. Best to remind the base who's with the Nazis and the Christianist militias again:


Thirty minutes later, some reinforcement (short attentions spans, don't y'know):


After the evening's Happy Meal and a long read in the Propaganda Folder about what a glorious Presidential Afternoon it had been, the *resident got word on Fox that a woman had been run down and killed by a Baser (the news had been out for hours, but things get out more slowly at Fox: they have to exhaust all possible avenues to slag a sympathetic victim before reporting her death):


Under the 15-minute delay rule, the Veep got to tweet what the *resident said again:


Before bedtime, there must be a tweet- like a world-class chocolate mint on the pillow of a 300-count Trump International Hotel pillow- preferably to the base, and preferably law-and-order-y:


This morning we finally heard from Mrs Kushner. She got a rabbinical dispensation to travel to Saudi Arabia on a Saturday, but since then she has been trying to play down the impression she has much influence in The White House after a series of incidents proving beyond question that she has little influence in The White House. So she weighed in last, with some dusted-off United Colors of Benneton ad copy.

"Should be no place?" Ah, yes, in a perfect world...but in the meantime, they vote for Daddy:



Now it's time for the Sunday talk shows! Here's the first try, not even on The White House website yet:





Boy Kushner remains huddled with this legal team:


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