Satan, Sleepless, Seattle

        Remember when it turned out Dr. Evil's secret lair was atop Seattle's Space Needle in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me?
    Knute Berger finds the Father of Lies has taken a sublet to direct a coven of Pacific Northwest corporations:
          Who knew that Satan's guerrilla war was waged with unlikely tools, not unlike the underwear bomber. This time tennis shoes, books, and venti mochas are the weapons. Microsoft software? Well, yes, that's obviously the devil's work.
          In a press release, Pastor Andrew lays it out this way: "The boycott of Starbucks by Christians and churches has expanded to include Nike, Amazon and other businesses that promote homosexual sin. Starbucks announced in January that homosexual 'marriage' was 'core to who we are and what we value.' " Andrews urges churches to stop serving Starbucks coffee to congregants because they are among companies that are ungodly. "Christians can pray for God-fearing companies to replace the anti-God companies," the press statement suggests.
          In terms of doing bad, it's not hard to make a case against these pillars of Pacific Northwest America's economic outreach. And it has nothing to do with gay marriage.
          What evil do they do?
          Well, Starbucks sells over-priced, highly addictive products that combine caffeine, sugar, and animal fat. Some outlets now sell alcohol too.
          Nike has used sweat shop workers to produce the overpriced shoes that often cause people to riot. People have even killed for a pair of Nikes. Their products are often endorsed by sports figures who are no strangers to scandal.
          Amazon has committed the sin of smashing the old-school publishing model, destroying your local bookshop, and burning the printed book on the fire of Kindle.
          Microsoft of course, is famed for its rapacious business practices, crazy-making products, and what amounts to tax-dodging in their home state.
          A case can be made that the harm they've done outweighs any benefits, a reckoning that, if these "persons" had souls, they might await reckoning at the Pearly Gates. 
          Yet in conservative eyes, such sins are not boycott-worthy, and they are accepted by most Republicans as simply good business practices. They are practices that produce prosperity, which is God's reward to the good and faithful among us. Exploiting consumers or workers and rewarding greed, that's all in-bounds godliness-wise. 
          But, make a decision to support gay rights, and suddenly capitalism's heroes are in league with the devil. Allowing your gay brother or sister to marry the love of their life? That sends you to hell, even if it's profitable.