Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tagg, you're it.

     -Or, How Will Folks Dreamt He'd Made Nikki Haley Swoon

     "A crowd of a couple dozen people, mostly media, but with a handful of genuinely rapt fresh-faced conservatives of both sexes thrown in, hung on to his every word. Sometimes they threw in their own advice and observations. As Elise joked about which Republicans were the 'hottest,' two giggling college girls with Santorum stickers shouted in perfect unison 'Mitt Romney’s sons!' Shortly afterwards, Elise asked a slick-haired Republican to describe his perfect girl. His answer: 5”7, good hair, nice skin, and 'works for FOX News.'
     "The breakout session, sponsored by TeaParty.net, was billed as an opportunity to 'learn everything from how to avoid scaring away your own personal Dagny Taggart in the first five minutes of the conversation, to whether Tea Partiers and Occupiers can share something more than a dislike for bailouts.' But in practice, Elise mostly stuck to his tried and true methods for dating in general. In comparison to 'Mystery,' who promotes using memorized pickup lines, Elise instead espouses broader tips and tricks.
     Like the following four examples:
     "1.'How do you make them feel comfortable? You talk about your weaknesses,' Elise said. One audience member chimed in with a good one liner to lighten the mood: 'I’m Rush Limbaugh’s drug dealer.'
     "2. On dates, 'try to outlaw questions,” Elise said, prompting some quizzical looks from participants. 'Say "I’m not going to do any questions, I’m going to make statements." Why? Because statements say something about you.'
     "3. Here’s a tip: 'When you walk up and you’re talking to the cute girl in a group don’t just talk to the girl. Bring other people in.' In a related tactic, should you see a hot girl in a bar do not approach — instead befriend a less attractive group and then recruit them to help you seduce her.
     "4. Good date idea? 'Tell her you want to take a polaroid camera, walk around Soho in New York or somewhere comparable here, Georgetown maybe, and take pictures together — that’s a fun date.' But one Republican consultant from Sag Harbor, New York had a better one. 'A gun club works really well for that thing,' he said. 'It’s conservative, it’s fun, most women haven’t done that before…you get to look like you know what you’re doing.'
     "Still, at the audience’s prompting, he offered at least some conservative-specific ideas from his own experience as a libertarian in Los Angeles.
     "'The problem with conservatives on dating: we’re too uptight! he said. 'Liberals have the reputation for being fun, we have to go on the date and have fun without smoking pot."

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