As Coast to Coast AM listeners rend their garments

"Nah gah hap'n," as the first President Bush used to say.

Proving beyond all cavil that President Obama is a sicko anti-defense Kenyan socialist, The White House has officially ruled out an American-made Death Star:

Reasons given include these lame-os:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?