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Saturday, January 2, 2016

Today in Darwinian Horology

Gage Bodenheimer was at his friend Nathaniel Thomas’ apartment. While there, Gage fell asleep on the floor. Not a huge surprise so far, because it gets late and not everyone is a night owl. It was supposed to be a nice night with friends – but someone invited the Second Amendment and he ruined the party. 
While Gage was sleeping on the floor, his friend Nathaniel decided he should be awake. Instead of nudging him or speaking loudly, Nathaniel decided to point a gun at his friend and pull the trigger – in an effort to make repeated trigger clicks to awaken Gage. 
Moments later, Gage was dead as Nathaniel – thinking the gun was unloaded – ended up blowing his friend away with the obviously loaded gun. 
Nathaniel must have heard from the NRA that he was not responsible for his own firearm irresponsibility because he called 911 and reported that he shot an intruder in his home. There were a couple problems with that. One is that the cops could tell immediately that something was amiss due to the nature of the scene. Second, there were witnesses there in the apartment the whole time. All the police had to do, even if they were so inept at investigating the scene, was to ask any person present what happened. 
The whole affair was infinitely dumb on Nathaniel’s part. Then again, your average person who uses a gun as an alarm clock is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

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