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Monday, October 3, 2016

Carolina Mondays always get me down-

The Carolina Mercury has a nice roundup on the state of the GOP Carolina Comeback 36 days out.

-Sockless Dick Burr, NC’s generally invisible senior US senator, is going negative. No more ads cut by old white people who are grateful he cuts other folks’ benefits to keep theirs coming; no more promos from white folks whose kids got tax-favored medical accounts while poor people remain denied the benefits of the Medicare expansion.

“One of the state’s leading health economists said it’s not surprising given some of the economics of North Carolina and the fact that its residents have some of the highest rates of obesity, diabetes and heart disease in the United States,” the article reads.

84 of the 100 counties are below the national per capita average for doctors; and the lack of even rudimentary public transit through the state continues to hamper access to big cities, where all the doctors are.

The GOP considers transit another manifestation of communism, and buses a reason for open carry everywhere, since they are full of angry fraudulent black voters with boom boxes.

Republican voters prefer to focus on other “behaviors” like transgender mood swings and porn (declared by the GOP to be a public health emergency despite their presidential nominee’s 3 am tweetstorm commanding his followers to go look at some, and the Pornhub survey finding Southern men search most in its pages for black lesbian action).

Well, that and the whole HB2 gay thing. You can be against stuff like that and no tax money is involved.

Except when a hurricane looms. All eyes are on local TV stations this week, as Matthew, the biggest ‘cane in a decade, churns up the coast, and just no time at all since the Republicans went back to the Emergency Relief Fund for half a mil to pay for their lawyers to keep losing the HB2 case.

They previously tapped it for a million to pay for an abortion case they lost. No one seems to have noticed that the Democratic communist trial lawyers work on the Robin Hood model- taking from the corporations and insurers; while the God-fearing Republican trial lawyers are socialist mooches who insist on sackful of taxpayer cash in regular payments.

-“It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature,” was the tagline of a 1970s TV margarine ad. It turns out the reason farm kids in NC bolt as soon as they can is not a desire to escape the willful backwardness of their dying home counties.

Mostly not.

No, It’s environmental terrorists, messing’ with Mother Nature’s assurances- passed on by Governor Pat McCrory and Lt. Governor Dan (got-nuthin’-to-do-but run-for gov-for-four-more-years) Forest (“Clearcut” his friends call the architect who hates energy efficiency standards).

Mother Nature thrives on water and air pollution, they assured voters who motorboated out from among the biggest hogshit ponds in the world to hear the GOP message on dominion over the land, and Duke Energy’s dominion over the General Assembly. The Ag Department is gonna publish Mother Nature’s Coal Ash Cookbook, in fact- if the Republicans get back in.

Vote the wrong way, and it’s four years of kale smoothies for y’all.

-Tomorrow is “Tu-tu-tu-Tuesday, first Tuesday,” when the NC Lottery kicks off its monthly shakedowns of the credulous. Don’t bother. It’s rigged.

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