So you won't have to, I just took some time and went through all twelve pages of the schedule of events and speakers at CPAC. Of the score of numpties, zamies, mountebanks, kept husbands, evangelical moneychangers, and- to borrow the catchall category from Ferris Bueller's Day Off- "the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, and dickheads", amazingly, only one speaker is from the mile-long, mile-deep NCGOP bench.
No McCrory, no Berger, no Tillis, no Sockless Dick Burr. No HB2 cheerleaders. Tim Moore is still on Berger's choke chain.
Nope, the cream curdling at the top of the GOP's jug is Congressman Mark Walker, a spiteful and ostentatious Baptist minister. He got ten minutes- no topic listed- at lunch one day.
Yes, that Walker, the hipster concresscritter I wrote about last April:
North Carolina Republican Congressman Mark Meadows is, like most in his party, a bit developmentally delayed, culturally. He’s dissing Bruce Springsteen as a “bully” while dismissing his alleged bullying as no biggie:
"We've got other artists coming soon — Def Leppard, Justin Bieber," the congressman told The Hollywood Reporter.
"I've never been a Bieber fan, but I might have to go. Maybe artists who weren't 'born to run' deserve a little bit more support," he said, referencing one Springsteen's most famous song titles.
Meadows, a Southern Baptist minister, may find it hard to become a Belieber when he learns of the pop star's penchant for nude selfies, or his tweet, "I'm not gay but even if I was that's not an insult."Well, a year's passed, and the Congressman's still apparently willing to leave it to Bieber when it comes to wholesome family entertainment.