-20 days remain until, as President Ford put it, our long national nightmare is over. Or we wake up the next day and find it is just getting started. There is another presidential debate tonight. The Donald has cast aside his Clinton bimbos for President Obama’s half-brother (sluts to nuts, that’s The Donald), who is carrying on in the noble tradition of halfwit presidential siblings Neil Bush, Roger Clinton, Billy Carter, and Sam Houston Johnson. He will sit in the audience, give interviews to Breitbart and WorldNetDaily, and then return to his well-earned obscurity.
-Mrs Trump #3 has been doing an apology tour for the Trump Talk tape. She says she does not believe the things her husband bragged of doing. Therefore, they did not happen. She is smart: Descartes is her favorite scent for photo shoots on bear rugs.
She is sticking by her man, as Hillary Clinton did in such presidency-disqualifying ways, like calling the media names and traducing the victims. One can see why she is the perfect apologist. Decades younger than The Donald, she has no idea what he was doing when he was doing what she says he didn’t do.
-Another generic Trump shill with the “I don’t know anything about Russia” name of Boris Epshteyn says President Obama won North Carolina by fraud in 2008. This would be interesting if President Obama was running again this year. But we know the Republicans won control of the NC legislature in 2010; Mitt Romney carried the state in 2012 and Pat McCrory was elected governor and the GOP increased its legislative majorities and they took control of the state Supreme Court. So there is no more vote fraud in North Carolina. As Driftglass puts it, “On any given day, by the middle of any given sentence, the typical Trump surrogate is already denying that they said what they said at the beginning of that sentence.”
-At the Family Research Council- whose brief did not include the effects of adultery and incest on evangelical families while Josh Duggar worked there- the head hater, Tony Perkins, says just the thing to make his home state of Louisiana great again is an attorney general who will write anti-LGBT discrimination into all state contracts. Perkins, who otherwise believes government is big and evil, says, “It’s hard enough to win a government contract. Now imagine that your beliefs are a disqualifying factor!” But he is all in for business being able to set- and exceed!- quota in types of people not to hire.
-As American conservatives continue to juggle the Snowden=Bad, Manning=Bad, Assange=Good triangle, it turns out the Wikileaks head is just a London expat teen whose foster parents found out what he was doing on the Internet.
-Curt Schilling, a homophobic SOB who mouthed off so much ESPN fired him, is running for the US Senate seat held by Elizabeth Warren. He will road-test Trumpery post-Trump. Channeling the Great Cheeto, Schilling says it was stupid of Rhode Island to guarantee a big loan for him to start a bidness that immediately failed, but because it was there for the taking, he had a right to blow it on his dumbass idea. The Senate race is a chance for Bill Weld to atone for signing on for this year’s wild ride with the Libertarians’ flat-earth fracker, Gary “Make Jill Stein Look Great” Johnson.
-Patriots’ coach Bill Belichick has had technophobia ever since the team bought that digital ball pressure gauge.
-It turns out you are 15 times more likely to be killed by lightning than to see a proven case of voter fraud. This does not assuage the fears of Republicans who do not believe in science or maths. They are the sort keen to put scrap the demon-inspired metric system and put the Biblical cubit back in their cubic feet. Plus, as NC GOP leaders tell us, you can’t take the anarchist out of the college student or the fraud out of the Negro voter.
-America’s favorite thumb in a cowboy hat has gone digital.