"Do not complain, earthling. You are at the age your own medical authorities tell to have regular colonoscopies."

As my dad used to say, "You know, sometimes those tabloids are right."

You must be feeling pret-ty sheepish if you mocked this 1994 warning:

Senator Alan Simpson, asked for comment, replied, "Klaatu barado nictu."

Only one of the twelve remains in office: Orrin Hatch of Utah, who is now president pro tem of the Senate and third in line to the presidency.

Aliens play the long game. And they play for keeps.