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Thursday, May 4, 2017

When it comes to "normal" marriage, two heads are, indeed, better than one.

There's been a lot of fuss among conservatives over whether making wedding cakes is a Christian art form. In fact, an uncharacteristically profit and media-shy member of the Guild of Wedding Artists Who Won't Bake for The Gays, Jack Phillips of Colorado, is waiting for his case for legalized discrimination to be picked up by the US Supreme Court with the swing vote of Colorado Justice Neil Gorsuch. 


To justify the unjustifiable there's been a lot of rhetorical flummery and argle-bargle from the Christianists to parse who can, and can't have cake, photos, sticks and twigs in pressed-glass vases, invitations, even pizza.

Aaron and Melissa Klein, the baker- martyrs of Gresham, Oregon, underscored the problem. In 2013 Willamette Week reporters called their business, Sweet Cakes by Melissa (after they claimed it had been forced closed by mean gays) to ask if they'd cake-cater some events.

After drawing a firm lesbian line, the Kleins said they's happily take coin for cakes at parties celebrating the birth of bastard children, divorce celebrations, winning stem-cell research grants, non-kosher barbecues, and pagan solstice celebrations.

In the end, though, what Christians are fighting for, in defense of their souls and traditional marriage, is this:
You know you have found your partner for life when you both agree that making cakes in the image of your own bloody, severed heads to serve guests at your wedding is the right thing to do. Not only do you serve the all-too-realistic cakes, but you make them together. Now that is love. And that is exactly what Natalie and David Sideserf did for their wedding in 2013. 
According to Natalie, the creative force behind Sideserf Cake Studio in Austin, Texas, she and her husband are huge horror movie fans, inspiring the ahem, “no brainer” concept of making their wedding cakes in the design of two decapitated heads. The cakes, which took approximately 40 hours to complete, were served on a platter dripping with faux blood that read “Till Death Do Us Part.” Awww. Some gloriously NSFW images of the macabre cakes follow below. Also included are a few more of Sideserf’s hyperrealistic cakes, such as her remarkable Willie Nelson cake and other ghoulish/horror-themed designs that only the dark of heart could love and eat...


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