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Thursday, August 10, 2017

Dispatches from the DC Bitch-Slapping Special Olympics

The *resident is a pudgy, balding 71-year-old.

His antagonist is a pudgy, balding, 75-year old.

They are backing the same US Senate candidate in Alabama's GOP primary, but for different reasons: the former, because the candidate says the *resident's election is a sign from God; the latter, because the six-month Senate incumbent is a reliable, "will vote for anything that says 'repeal and replace'" sort.

The 75-year-old's wife is a member of the *resident's cabinet. He controls the *resident's legislative hopes.

The 71-year-old commands the loyalty of state media, so much so that its surviving star broke his twelve-hour pledge to be nice:

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