Via Harper's, scenes from the jury selection process for the securities fraud trial of Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli:
Every sketch of Martin Shkreli looks like it's from The Trial of Rumpelstiltskin pic.twitter.com/I0CmmW8nES— New Donk Casey (@CaseyMalone) August 4, 2017
The court: Well, I’m going to excuse you. Juror Number 144, tell us what you have heard.
Juror no. 144: I heard through the news of how the defendant changed the price of a pill by up-selling it. I heard he bought an album from the Wu-Tang Clan for a million dollars.
The court: The question is, have you heard anything that would affect your ability to decide this case with an open mind. Can you do that?
Juror no. 144: I don’t think I can because he kind of looks like a dick.
The court: You are Juror Number 144 and we will excuse you. Come forward, Juror Number 155.
_____
Juror no. 155: I have read a lot of articles about the case. I think he is as guilty as they come.
The court: Then I will excuse you from this case. Juror Number 10, please come forward.
Juror no. 10: The only thing I’d be impartial about is what prison this guy goes to.
_____
The court: All right. I’m going to excuse you. Juror Number 59, come on up.
Juror no. 59: Your Honor, totally he is guilty and in no way can I let him slide out of anything because —
The court: Okay. Is that your attitude toward anyone charged with a crime who has not been proven guilty?
Juror no. 59: It’s my attitude toward his entire demeanor, what he has done to people.
The court: All right. We are going to excuse you, sir.
Juror no. 59: And he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan.
No comments:
Post a Comment