1. Criminalizing Obamacare - Rep. Bill Chumley (R-Spartanburg)
introduced a bill
he’s calling the “South Carolina Freedom of Health Care Protection
Act,” which would essentially criminalize the enforcement of President
Obama’s Affordable Care Act. Any federal official caught enforcing
Obamacare in the Palmetto State will be charged with a felony, under
Chumley’s bill, punishable by up to five years in prison and a $5,000
fine. State officials who try to enforce Obamacare (including the part
which prohibits insurance companies from dropping sick children who have
“pre-existing conditions”) face up to one year in jail and a $1,000
fine. Sen. Mike Fair (R-Greenville)
introduced an identical bill in the Senate.
Sen. Lee Bright (R-Spartanburg)
introduced a similar bill
in the Senate called the “Freedom of Choice in Health Care Act,” which
would punish any state of federal official who tries to enforce “any
aspect” of the law by up to one year in prison and a $1,000 fine.
Upstate Republicans sure are fighting hard to defend our right to get
screwed over by insurance companies!
2. Doubling lawmakers’ salaries - Rep. John King (D-York)
introduced a bill
that would set state lawmakers’ salaries at $50,000 per year, including
per diem pay for meals and housing. Lawmakers currently take home
$10,400 per year, plus a $300 per diem stipend for each day the State
House is in session.
A 2010 investigation by The Nerve
found that the average total salary for a state lawmaker is $32,000 per
year, which means King’s bill would nearly double the General
Assembly’s pay. Not a bad job, if you can get it!
3. Giving police dogs a “license to bite” – Sen. Larry Martin (R-Pickens)
introduced a bill
that would exempt police dogs from the liability for attacks during the
line of duty. Now we’re just playing Devil’s Advocate here, but if
police dogs are considered officers when they’re injured or killed while
on duty, then shouldn’t their bites be considered police brutality?
4. Targeting illegal immigrants with the death penalty - Sen. Ronnie Cromer (R-Newberry)
introduced a bill
that would prohibit the Probation, Parole and Pardon Services Board
from recommending that the governor issue a pardon, reprieve or
commutation of sentence for an illegal immigrant facing the death
penalty. In other words, even if it’s later determined that an illegal
immigrant on Death Row may have been wrongfully convicted, the board
still couldn’t ask the governor to keep him from being executed.
Cromer’s incredibly heartless and slightly racist proposal would deny
someone their Fifth Amendment right to due process solely because of
their nationality and legal status — which is itself a violation of the
Fourteenth Amendment as well. If only Sen. Cromer had also thrown in
some
cruel and unusual punishment, he could have gone for a three-amendment hat trick!
5. Free exercise of religion in government meetings - Sen. Lee Bright (R-Spartanburg)
introduced a bill
that would prohibit state and local government bodies from restricting
the free exercise of religion during its proceedings. This is a great
example of an idea that might sound good in theory, but is terrible when
implemented — kind of like communism or the War in Iraq. Sen. Bright is
trying to give local governments freedom to hold prayers before
meetings, but we can’t wait to see the look on the ultra-conservative
senator’s face the first time somebody starts
praying to Allah in the middle of a city council meeting!
6. Sharia Law, the phantom menace - Sen. Fair also
introduced a bill
that would prevent any law established outside the United States from
being enforced in South Carolina. Fair’s proposal is aimed at preventing
Islamic Sharia law from taking root in the Palmetto State, which is
about as likely as
the zombie voters scenario
Republicans have been crowing about all year. Meanwhile, the text of
Fair’s legislation would have the unintended side effect of nullifying
international laws like the Geneva Conventions.
7. An obsession with prison sex-changes - Sen. Bright also
introduced a bill
that would ban the state from paying for gender reassignment surgeries
for inmates. This is despite the fact that South Carolina
has never paid for a prisoner’s sex change,
and has only one transgender inmate among 23,000 prisoners. Bright’s
measure is a re-hash of a bill introduced a year ago by Sen. Kevin
Bryant, but apparently senators want to focus on prison sex-changes
again. Who knows what kind of kinky things they’ll be talking about next legislative session!
8. Total deregulation of SC-made firearms - Last but certainly not least, Sen. Bright also
introduced a bill
which would make any firearm or gun accessory manufactured and retained
in South Carolina exempt from all federal gun regulations. While
Bright’s measure would not legalize automatic weapons, it would
specifically allow South Carolinians to use silencers and banana clips.
Thank you, Sen. Bright, for giving us the freedom to silently shoot
dozens of people at a time! You’re a true patriot.
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