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Wednesday, April 8, 2015

The Rand Brand: The President tramples the Constitution. I'll sell it to you.

"I have a message," Rand Paul declared as he took the stage here. "We have come to take our country back." 

With that, Paul launched his presidential campaign, casting himself as an anti-establishment politician who seeks to win the support of disaffected Americans unhappy with both political parties...  
The first-term senator from Kentucky made it clear that running against Washington is one of the central themes of his candidacy, standing below a banner that read "Defeat the Washington machine, unleash the American dream."

"I have been to Washington and let me tell you there is no monopoly on knowledge there," Paul said.

Having thus declared himself a new kind of candidate, Paul came out four-square for every position his party holds dear:

And he cautioned his party against putting forth a candidate who would "dilute our message or give up on our principles." 

"If we nominate a candidate who is simply Democrat-lite, what's the point?" Paul asked. "Why bother?"

And, Charlie Pierce found, there was more:

Never has the blog's Five Minute Rule been more important to the survival of the Republic. To recap, the rule states that, whenever any member of the extended Paul family speaks in a political context, that person will make sense for exactly five minutes. Then, at exactly the five minute mark, the person will say something that leaves open the possibility that they grew up somewhere in the Dagobah system. Then you spend several minutes doubting your own judgment.
So, at noon on Tuesday, as Aqua Buddha announced that Ted Cruz would not be running unopposed for the Republican presidential nomination, I started listening closely at about the 3:30 mark, just to make sure I wouldn't miss anything. My vigilance in this regard was richly rewarded.
First, there was...
Congress will never balance the budget unless you force them to do so. Congress has an abysmal record with balancing anything. Our only recourse is to force Congress to balance the budget with a constitutional amendment.
The Worst Idea In American Politics! Right off the top! How can he possibly top that? Watch in amazement!
I ran for office because we have too many career politicians. I believe it now more than ever. We limit the President to two terms. It's about time we limit the terms of Congress!
Another stupefyingly bad idea, and not an entirely constitutional one, either. Which makes it strange coming from a guy who also believes...
We need to boldly proclaim our vision for America. We need to go boldly forth under the banner of liberty that clutches the Constitution in one hand and the Bill of Rights in the other.
First of all, banners don't have hands. Second of all, you can carry the Constitution and the Bill of Rights in one hand because they are part of the same document. I mention this because, one day, Aqua Buddha might want to go boldly forth while eating a sandwich.
I'm sorry. I know this was a serious event and all. The gang at liberal MSNBC was all a'quiver with anticipation. Chris Cillizza laughed off the fact that Aqua Buddha is polling in single digits at the moment by cautioning us that he stands to inherit Crazy Uncle Liberty(!)'s massive field organizations, the ones that propelled the latter to one third-place finish after another. Chris Matthews called Aqua Buddha a "philosopher." Not to be too much of a contrarian here, but these people have to be kidding.
The man is a simpleton...

He loves the Constitution so much, he will sell you an autographed copy for $1000.

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