Clerics and veep announce: "We sent a shinbone to Ancestry.com and just found out RepublicanJesus is 100% Russian!"

Vice President Mike Pence Met Privately With Top Russian Cleric

The arch-hater summons his allies:

[Metropolitan Hilarion Alfeyev of Moscow] and [American politicovangelical Franklin] Graham share common cause beyond protecting Christians in the Middle East. Both support Putin’s push to impose ultraconservative policies—including staunch opposition to abortion and gay rights—at a time of increasing secularization in the West.

When Hilarion addressed the summit Thursday morning, he spoke out not just against the physical violence some Christians face, but also “the curtailment of people’s rights to the public expression of their faith,” and the legalization of euthanasia and abortion in Western countries. He criticized the U.S. for its “ideology aimed at supporting sexual minorities and the propaganda of the homosexual life.” His remarks echoed Graham, who in 2014 praised Putin for protecting “his nation’s children from the damaging effects of any gay and lesbian agenda” when Russia passed a controversial anti-gay law ahead of the Sochi Olympics.

The old and new versions both run entirely on gas.